No more "hmm hmm hmm - hmm hmm hmm"

Back when Mary Grace was a newborn we had a little trouble putting her to sleep at night. Of course, she only slept for 1 1/2 to 2 hours at a time between feedings, but that's not the point. At some point I started humming "Lullaby and Goodnight" to her as part of the routine. It worked like a charm. I mentioned it to Anne and she started humming it to her too. That song became so ingrained in the bedtime routine that Mary Grace would not go to bed without it. It became to me a symbol of being a daddy, and some times I would even tear up while humming it.

So, the routine went on and on, and even as a two year old, she knew when she didn't get the song at bedtime and put up a fuss. As recently as this past spring, I used to pretend that I forgot the song and hum the Happy Birthday song or instead of humming I would sing the words, but Mary Grace would have no part of that. "No, not that song... the hmmm hmmm hmmm song!"

I'm sure this sort of thing will be a recurring theme as Mary Grace grows up but the first one hurts just a little. Tonight I asked her if she wanted me to sing the song and she said no, because she's a big girl now. Wait? What? - when did that happen?!

So I whispered to Mary Grace "Can I sing it for me, and you can just listen?" She reluctantly agreed, and I thought of all the wonderful nights of putting her to bed and singing that song. Nights when she was completely exhausted when she first stopped napping, nights when she had no sleep whatsoever in her eyes, warm summer nights, cool spring nights.

They all drift into the past and I'm left with that memory of holding my two year old little girl in my lap and humming Lullaby and Goodnight.